Dale Peterson, an Alabama Republican state official famous for flaunting his rifle in campaign ads promising to be tough on crime, was arrested Wednesday and charged with shoplifting a can of cashews.
And of course, this isn’t the first time for mister Peterson. Just a few months ago, he got caught stealing paper towels and beer from Walmart. See, this must be a midlife crisis move for the state official because everyone in my group of delinquents knew to never steal from Walmart because they have eyes everywhere. Of course, one friend still tried it and made it two steps out the door before he was whisked back in. After that, I upgraded friends. My friends are now called the internet. Thanks friends for being a better influence.